


Spicing It Up

by Nary



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Derek tries his best, F/M, First Time, Recreational Drug Use, Unusual Genitalia, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: "Sex! I know about that.  Janet taught me, and she knows everything."Mindy thought back to the various times she'd spied on Jason and Janet trying to have sex, and felt a certain amount of doubt at that claim.  But beggars couldn't be choosers, and she was pretty confident that if she did enough coke, she'd be into whatever Derek could manage.  "Great, let's do that," she said, dragging him towards the bedroom.
Relationships: Derek (The Good Place)/Mindy St. Claire
Comments: 14
Kudos: 29
Collections: Smut 4 Smut 2020





	Spicing It Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kennesaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kennesaw/gifts).



Mindy St. Claire hadn't expected much when she woke up that morning. Her daily routine in the Medium Place was pretty set in stone, except for the occasions when Eleanor and her ragtag band of misfits showed up to annoy her. She'd get up, masturbate, take a lukewarm shower, have a breakfast of off-brand Cheerios (the only kind of cereal in the Medium Place), masturbate, do some gardening, eat lunch (ham sandwich, an apple, and plain celery sticks, the only lunch in the Medium Place), read some do-it-yourself vampire porn, masturbate, eat dinner (an unadorned chicken breast, brown rice, and steamed cauliflower, with a bowl of tapioca pudding for dessert), have a lukewarm beer and some unsalted pretzels to relax while she watched Cannonball Run II, masturbate to Burt Reynolds, and go to bed. It was a comfortable, if predictable existence, and it suited her fine.

On this particular day, though, her lunch was interrupted by a vigorous pounding on the front door. She opened it, only to find a man with a wide grin and a bushy beard standing there, still hammering into thin air. His name was Derek, and according to the note from Eleanor pinned to his jumpsuit, he was a sex robot. He also, more importantly, had two duffle bags full of cocaine, which instantly made Mindy's life a lot more exciting. So exciting, in fact, that she missed him getting undressed. It was only once she'd done a couple of lines that she turned around and saw him standing there in the middle of her living room, cheerful and naked.

"Oh, damn," she said, blinking rapidly (her eyeballs didn't quite feel like they were lined up, horizontally-speaking). "You weren't kidding about the wind chime thing."

"Nope!" Derek said, clanging hopefully. 

Well, she _had_ said she could work with ...that. Even if "that" was extremely weird and noisy. And the burst of energy from the coke had given her a burst of inspiration, along with the weird tracking issues with her eyes. "Get over here," she instructed him. Derek trotted over like an obedient puppy. "Do you know how to do mouth stuff?"

"I can do lots of mouth stuff!" Derek began running through a series of increasingly bizarre facial expressions, grimacing and pouting and doing that thing where he rolled his tongue into a tube. "AAHEEEHOOOOOO," he bellowed, practically unhinging his jaw in the process.

Mindy held up her hand. "Not that kind of mouth stuff. I mean like oral sex."

"oOooooOOoowoooo," Derek continued, trailing off like a siren. "Sex! I know about that. Janet taught me, and she knows everything."

Mindy thought back to the various times she'd spied on Jason and Janet trying to have sex, and felt a certain amount of doubt at that claim. But beggars couldn't be choosers, and she was pretty confident that if she did enough coke, she'd be into whatever Derek could manage. "Great, let's do that," she said, dragging him towards the bedroom.

Derek was eager to get started - she had to make him wait at least long enough for her to get undressed, or else he would have tried to eat her through her control-top pantyhose, which would have been a bad time all around. Finally she was naked, legs spread on the edge of the bed, and he was kneeling there looking up at her like a worshipper. A rather dim-witted and easily-distracted worshipper, but she'd take what she could get. 

"Okay, go for it," she told him. Then, after he'd gone for it for a few moments, she knotted her fingers in his hair and steered him in the right direction, because he was trying to suck on the inside of her knee. It took a little guidance to get him where she wanted him, but once she did, she felt like her pussy might explode from the sudden shock of having someone other than her pay attention to it. It wasn't that he was so talented, but the novelty and the enthusiasm with which he approached the task more than made up for any lack of skill. 

Derek lapped at her like he was a camel dying of thirst and she was a desert fountain. By which Mindy meant, it was messy and clumsy and everyone in the immediate vicinity was going to get wet because there was definitely some spitting involved, but it was _incredibly_ satisfying. He dove into her face-first, his beard scraping enjoyably against her inner thighs, his hands reaching around her hips to grab her ass and pull her closer towards him. Mindy's legs shot out straight, toes curling with pleasure, and she held onto the edge of the bed so she wouldn't slide all the way off and crush him.

"Use... use your fingers," she gasped. She needed _something_ inside her, and if the wind chimes weren't going to be it, then she'd take whatever else was available. 

Derek, lacking specific guidance, started tapping out some sort of morse code on her hips. 

"No," she told him, taking his wrist and guiding it between her legs. "Here... yeah, like that..." She moaned as he slid his fingers into her, and shoved his face back against her clit so that he could keep on licking her as well. It took him a while to coordinate his movements, and once he somehow managed to jab his thumb into his eye (how??), but with Mindy's instructions they got there eventually. 

The combination of his mouth on her clit and his fingers thrusting into her felt so good that Mindy wanted it to last longer, but she was also terrible at delayed gratification. The coke had her coasting high now and she wanted to come. Besides, if he was a robot or something, he'd presumably never get tired or bored, and she could do this as many times as she wanted. She let herself be swept along by the sensations, shuddering and screaming through wave after sweaty wave of pleasure until finally she collapsed back onto the bed, pushing him away with her foot. 

"Wow," Derek said, sitting back on the floor with a satisfied grin on his face. "Did I do that?"

"Sure," Mindy told him, still catching her breath, her brain buzzing delightfully and little tremors passing through her legs. She had no idea if he'd expect her to reciprocate, or what she was going to do with a handful of wind chime if he did, but she imagined that if he was sticking around, they'd figure it out eventually. He (and the ample amounts of cocaine) would definitely spice up her usual Medium Place routine.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
